What is Your Self-Care Language? Self-Love Languages & Ideas

So many of us are too busy taking care of other people's needs, that we often forget to take care of ourselves. It's important to nurture yourself in ways that make you feel amazing! In this post we'll be discussing how you can apply Gary Chapman's Love Languages to your own life, as well as giving you lots of ideas on how to implement your self-care language so you can soak yourself in all the affection and love you deserve.

what's in this post?

  1. What is self-care?

  2. Love Languages explained

  3. Discover your Self-Care language

  4. Quality Time

  5. Words of Affirmation

  6. Physical Touch

  7. Gifts

  8. Acts of Service

What is self-care?

It's a common misconception that practicing self-care means you're 'selfish', but I can assure you that's incorrect.

Self-care is showing up for yourself everyday and making choices that ensure you are healthy, able to achieve your best, and connect well with others. With our current epidemic of stress, anxiety and depression, learning to love yourself is especially important.

Love languages explained

Love languages have become increasingly popular in the last few years since Gary Chapman released his book explaining how they can be used to deepen connections in relationships. Most people are now aware of the 5 different categories of love;

1. Quality Time

2. Words of Affirmation

3. Physical Touch

4. Gifts

5. Acts of Service

The love-languages test uses insights into your own psychology and personality traits to help you understand how you best give and receive love to others. But, I think I'm correct in saying that many of us forget how to show ourselves love and nurture our own needs, (*guilty!*).

So how can we apply love languages to ourselves, and show ourselves the care we deserve?

Take a look at the different self-care languages below and see which one resonates most with you! We've also included lots of ideas along with each one to give you a place to start.


Everybody has a different ways of feeling like they're being taken care of. What we do here at The Calming Club, might be completely different to what you need, and that's perfectly normal.

You need bits of every one of these love languages to take care of yourself, but choosing to focus on one that aligns best for you can truly level up your self-care game.

Let's go through each one, and you can choose which one feels best! Remember to listen to your body and emotions as you read through.


Having quality time is all about spending productive time with yourself. And that doesn't mean checking things off of a to-do list ~ those are off bounds for now! This is all about separating yourself from all of the stresses of life and spending time with yourself, doing things you love.

Focus on getting to know yourself, and being present. This way you can develop an understand of what sparks joy for you and helps you to relax whilst being alone.

Some quality time self-care ideas;

~ Self-Discovery Journaling

~ Take yourself on a date

~ Reading your favourite fiction novel

~ Watching your favourite movie

~ Try out a guided meditation

~ Take yourself on a scenic walk


People with the words of affirmations love language like to hear compliments and being affirmed that they're doing well in life and their relationships. So if your self-care language is words of affirmation, then you need to give yourself those same compliments!

Negative self-talk is common for people with this self-care language, so it's best to be aware and limit that as much as possible. Treating yourself with kindness and uplifting yourself will soothe your spirit.

Some words of affirmation self-care ideas;

~ Practice daily affirmations

~ Positive self-talk

~ Write yourself a love letter

~ Journaling your thoughts


If physical touch is how you feel the most self-love, then you probably enjoy pursuing things that make your body feel incredible. After having a stressful day, you crave being in touch with your body and likely end up in the gym, or booking a spa day.

You feel most loved when you make time to tend to your external health and wellness.

Some physical touch self-care ideas;

~ Try a new workout

~ Go to a dance class

~ Book a massage

~ Have a spa day ~ Develop a skin-care routine

~ Invest in high-quality bedding

~ Try cooking a new healthy meal ~ Take a long bath or shower


The gifts love language gets the most stick, and

has the most misconceptions. But, when it comes to self-love, it's likely one of the most common!

Purchases for yourself don't have to be huge investments. It's all about the little, simple things that you cherish. If you've had a long, productive day, you like to reward yourself as a well done!

Some gifting self-care ideas;

~ Buy your favourite chocolate to indulge in

~ Take yourself on a vacation

~ Invest in your personal development

~ Buy yourself some new cosy loungewear

~ Add some relaxing candles to your home


Are you the type of person to prep your meals for the week, make your bed every morning, lay out your clothes the night before? If yes, your self-care language is probably acts of service.

You love to do tasks that make your life easier in the long run, which basically means you prepare things, and pursue acts so you can thank your past self for the effort. This is a great way to show acts of kindness to yourself.

Some acts of service self-care ideas;

~ Clean your space ready for relaxation

~ Prepare your meals for the week

~ Organise your workspace for ultimate productivity

~ Create a weekly schedule

~ Book therapy and doctors appointments in advance

~ Wash the dishes straight away

What's your self-care language?

We'd love to hear how you show yourself love. Comment below and let us know!

With love,

The Calming Club

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